Max’s Reasons Why the Government Is Effed: Gaffe Grab Bag |
December 5, 2009 |
Although the government is messed up in a lot of big ways, it’s important not to forget the smaller, less outrageous but nonetheless still batshit crazy things that politicians sometimes do. So with that in mind, today we take a step back from Big Government Badness™ to focus on the small things — which, as Blink 182 says, are what really matters.
#1 – Governor Charlie “Oh-Christ-That’s-Good”
In today’s accidental sex-related news, preternaturally tanned Florida Governor and probable closet-dweller Charlie Crist (no relation to Jesus) accidentally gave out the number for a phone sex hotline instead of the number for KidCare, the state’s child health care program. Amazingly, the sex line number, which was given in a pre-recorded message which played when Floridians dialed another, less sexy number, went unnoticed for a whole two months.
Check out an example of the call, recorded by the Palm Beach Post (skip to 0:53 for the good stuff):
#2 – Senator Max Bonked-Us
Continuing our sex theme, Montana Senator Max Baucus and Senate Finance Committee Chairman just admitted that he nominated his girlfriend, Melodee Hanes, for a position as a U.S. Attorney. However, she eventually withdrew her name from consideration over obvious ethics concerns (which evidently were not obvious enough for the couple to have noticed them earlier in the process), so all’s well that ends well.
Besides, I can’t blame him — she’s hot for an older woman! Check out her facebook page.
#3 – Joe Bidin’ His Time
And finally, no list of political gaffes would be complete without good ol’ gaffe-tastic Joe “Tactless” Biden. What’d he do this time, you ask? Did he inadvertently threaten to shoot Barack Obama? Did he tell a man in a wheelchair to “stand up”? No, this one wasn’t quite as horrifically inappropriate as either of those two.
All he did was walk on stage for a speech he was supposed to give at a D.C. Marriott while the current speaker was in the middle of introducing him. Realizing his mistake, he very obviously hid behind a curtain while the introduction continued.
What makes this so classic is the blinding, kid-in-a-candy-store smile on Biden’s face as he peeks out from behind the curtain. Check out the video:
Well, that wraps it up for today’s gaffes — but don’t worry: knowing U. S. politicans, I’m sure another one will be made any minute now.