Few things on this campus draw a crowd better than the lure of deceptively saccharine jungle juice at Eclectic or a compendium of kegs on Fountain. While I certainly see the attraction of crushing cups of watery beer and ambiguously fruit-flavored party punch (doled out from an industrial-sized garbage pail, no less), there are times when you’ve got the urge to sip on something that actually tastes good and does the trick in terms of getting you sufficiently tanked. It is in this vein of thought that I offer the first of many in the Method Mixology Anthology. Behold, a drink as potent as it is palatable: The Method Mouthful.

Combine:

¼ oz Vodka

¼ oz Gin

¼ oz Rum

¼ oz Sloe Gin

¼ oz Bacardi 151 Rum

¼ oz Southern Comfort Peach Liqueur

¼ oz Triple Sec

¼ oz Midori

¼ oz Crème de Banana

Splash of Grenadine

Splash of Lemon Juice

Splash of Cranberry Juice

Shake well. Serve in a tall glass over ice.

(Note: The beauty of this drink is in the balance of flavors, but you can add or substitute various flavored liqueurs as long as the ratios remain the same. And while the end result may taste like a tropical sunset on your tongue, they catch up to you right quick. So exercise caution. Or, you know, don’t.)